Happy Birthday O.

So here I am, minding my own business...

It started as a quasi normal day at work with a quasi normal drive home. Upon coming inside to grab Scrappy and his leash, I also grabbed the mail key so I could retrieve the mail from the superbox.

After a brief struggle opening the box, I grabbed the bills and we continued on our walk. After the dog's quasi normal pee and poo, we went to the big green garbage dumpster situated in the garbage garage so I could throw out the dog's smelly organic matter.

After doing so and beginning the jaunt back to the house, I suddenly realize something: I threw out the mail key with the dog poo.

Oh shit.

I go back into the garbage garage and look in the stinky smelly bin, looking for the damn key. Can't find it. So I grab a piece of eavestrough that just so happens to be laying against the wall and use it to poke around the bags of the neighbours seemingly endless garbage but to no avail. There is no key. I can't find it.

I come home and call O.

"Darling, I've done something."
"And what's that?"
"I threw the mail key in the garbage dumpster."

And what do I get? A laugh out loud, stomp your foot, crying on the ground, peeing a little reaction.

"You better get yer' boots! Yer' goin' in to find it!"

This is going to be a great night.

--

editors note: When O came home we trudged over to the garbage garage. After using the eavestrough to dig through the garbage, O jumped in to the bin and used his hands to dig through the bags. After 15 minutes of searching he says, "it's not here". He jumps out and walks around the garage to the grass to wipe off his shoes. Just then, I see a shiny object and walk to it, thinking oooooh shiny object and realize, it's the key on the keychain. Yiah. I owe him big.

Sunday morning.

At 5:31 a.m. this morning the birds decided to start chirping. So, in complete annoyance and disgust, I promptly get out of bed and close the windows and get back in bed - but not before cursing every bird in the world for being awake at this ungodly hour.

This afternoon while checking for a bird nest, I was startled to find something even worse swinging from the neighbours tree. A bird house. A frickin' bird house - busier than all get-out with birds.

We might have to plan an attack on this bird house. It's seriously cramping my sleeping style.

Spring has sprung on my deck.

Thanks mom and dad.

Reason 6,728 why final assessment projects blow.

The sun. The sun is finally out and what the hell am I doing? I'M DOING MY SEEMINGLY NEVERENDING FINAL ASSESSMENT PROJECT, that's what I'm doing.

The only thing that's making this quasi-ok (and I really mean barely ok) is the Dave Matthews DVD Live in Central Park playing in the backgroud. THAT'S IT!

Looks like it's that time of the year... already.

Someone thought they were being cute.

... on the laundry I was trying to fold.

A new very exciting page has turned.

So I have moved out of the little apartment I took so much pride in for the past 11 months and have moved a little further from the core. I won't lie, I love it. It's quiet, there's farmland and mountains a block from the house. It's cozy and quaint and I've quickly added a touch of me to every room.

I began, unknowingly so, adding a touch of red to each room. A red kettle, red box full of DVD's, red bath mat, red 'important-document-do-not-lose' box, red Emile Henry mixing bowls, red placemats and red bed covers. It wasn't intentional by any means - it just kind of happened. And besides, red is probably a safer colour over pink, no?

It was weird once again packing up shop and closing the door - but it felt good. It was almost cathartic in a way, being able to throw some memories out. While I enjoyed the place I called home for almost a year, I knew this wasn't going to be permanent and I had a hard time considering it home. While I learned to be on my own at times it sucked and at times it was awesome. I still shudder at the time I walked naked from my bedroom to the bathroom with the hallway light on only to turn around and realize, shit, my neighbour is standing in the courtyard of the condo staring into my place. Yiah - I won't miss that...

This new chapter is hella exciting.

Kijiji...

Ok so I put up a schwack of stuff on Kijiji the other day and was stunned to see how interested people were in my stuff. I mean - who doesn't want a wicked kickass kitchen table, a TV or a bunch of purses. C'mon!

So I was totally thrilled to find that all my stuff was essentially sold within hours of it being on the website. After sifting through the ridiculous number of emails I received, I found myself giving people who had proper spelling, grammar and punctuation the upper hand when it came to selling them my goods.

Examples of responses I received:

WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED

And that was the only thing in the email. Thanks for coming out... moving on...

hi there,
may i buy this from you.

thanks den address?

time best 4 u?

Are you f'ing kidding me?? Next!

HI!

I wont to buy this table, I can came in saturday and pick up.

Ahh! No.

Am I being too picky? I mean - is it so hard to simply say "Hi, I'm interested in your fabulous table - is it still available? If so, please let me know if I am able to pick it up! Thank you!"

Yes, apparently it is. And with that, I still own all my stuff still but have a couple very interested buyers. A couple who said they would get it today (but then changed their mind and said they would take it ONLY if I delivered... Alistair does not deliver tables and chairs thank you very much). Sigh.

The one thing I still struggle with when cooking...

... damn hard boiled eggs.

Who cries over spilled m&m's?

I wrote a couple years ago that when I became super hot shit, my green room requirements would include "M&M's - no brown ones". And for the past couple of years at Christmas, I have been given a massive ziploc bag of M & M's, sans the brown ones.

Tonite, like I have done every day for the past 40 some-odd days since Christmas, I dug my hand into the ziploc bag and ate a handful. However, tonite, the bag decided to fall all over my apartment floor. Awesome.

Instead of bursting out in tears, (which is what I really really really wanted to do) I sat on the floor and ate all the yellow ones I could find. Clearly a far better idea than picking them up and putting them back into the bag. Clearly. Because clearly I'm not heading to the beach in 15 days where I'm forced into wearing wee bikinis for 9 days straight. And clearly, I'm not an emotional eater... not at all.

Maybe I need this little vacation more so than I originally thought.

Just when I think I am the Queen of loading the dishwasher...

... and there is no possible way to fit anything else in it, O manages to fit a couple more large dishes in.

This article explains it.

My bros.

Tonite, because a.) I was too lazy to get off my couch, b.) I had no food in my cupboards or fridge, c.) I am in a state of chaos as I attempt to pack for Winterpeg and d.) they love me oh so much, my brothers decided they were coming over to make dinner for me in my cute little apartment. And it wasn't just any sort of dinner - it was tuna casserole they were making.

Best of 2008.

2008 was good to me.

I fell in love with fine red wines, decanted and poured into an epic Bordeaux glass, with endless conversations that led long into the early morning hours and with not knowing what the next day will bring. I fell in love with my bed and the way it hugged me in the mornings, with having my own parking spot, whether covered or not, with the sound the mailman makes when he arrives to bring my bills, and with the window in my living room that allowed the squirrels to join me while I watched CNN.

I fell in love with the knowledge that I could be more than what I was and that I wasn't afraid to do it. With the laughter of new friends and with old friends, with the way my fish lays in its bowl, with the way my apartment smells when it's been without me for a day or so.

I fell in love with the 10-day debauchery that I once disliked, with the bullriding that took my breath away and with the anticipation of a pancake breakfast in the office between cubicles. I fell in love with the fact that I worked hard to get to where I am and to not even consider taking it for granted.

I learned that I can have whatever I want as long as I was willing to put my all into the journey of obtaining it. I learned that being lonely is ok, just as it's ok to invite a friend over even though it's really late. I learned how to cook, to clean and to be independent. I also learned to accept new ideas, dance in the living room and eat things I don't enjoy the taste of. I learned that putting a helmet on and jumping on the back of a bike isn't actually that scary, when in fact, it's actually kinda fun. I learned that you can meet the coolest of people even when you're not looking for them. I learned that heartache can devastate you, but the lessons you learn were worth it. I learned that new love can rock you off your chair and take the wind from you.

I learned that a good pair of shoes will carry you through years, even though they look like they shouldn't leave the closet. I learned that politics can be all-consuming, even when you have no voice in them. I learned that if you don't say anything no one will hear you. I learned that a good song will cure you of loneliness, heartache and will make you dance like no one is watching. I learned that yes, even shoes have stories associated with them. I learned to be thankful for what happened no matter how hard it is to think about.

I experienced adventures with people I never thought I'd take. I lost contact with friends but made incredible new relationships that I know will carry with me for years to come. I took chances with emotions and played poker with my heart. I became an artist and put the first picture on my fridge. Had my picture taken with the first african american President, cardboard cutout or not. I tried to make the border guard laugh but ended up smelling like garlic instead. I enjoyed last minute vacations with incredible friends and confrontations with others.

I welcome 2009 with open arms.

Happy Very Merry Christmas.

The joys of apartment living; episode 8,649...

It is 3:42 a.m., Saturday morning. I am sleeping and dreaming of wonderful things. Suddenly...

O: grumble
M: wtf
O: I love this place...
M: oh for the love of jesus...

I catch complete awareness of what is going on around me and suddenly am infuriated with the nerve of people. My neighbour who's living room shares my bedroom wall has cranked George Michael on his stereo and is singing at the top of his lungs along with him. The worst part? It's "Faith".

I get out of bed, not even fixing my pjs or hair, unlock my door and march to apartment #10 and knock 3 times.

Neighbour: oh my god - it's the neighbour - turn it down!
Neighbour #2: shit shit shit shit...

I am standing with one hand leaning against the wall and other on my hip not making eye contact with the peep hole. I can see their feet under their door, open the f'ing door... finally -

Neighbour: oh uh hi...

Neighbour boy opens his door in a pair of jeans with the fly undone, no shirt and dishevelled blonde hair.

M: So like... I'm all for George Michael and all - in fact, huge fan of the song Fast Love... just not at 3:45 a.m.
Neighbour: Yah I'm sorry. Just got back from being away for the past 10 months and...
M: I saw you the other day unloading groceries from your car and the week before coming home from work.
Neighbour: ...
M: Ok so if you could...
Neighbour: How long have you lived here for?
M: 7 months.
Neighbour: oooooh.
M: Thanks for turning it down.

I march back to my apartment and gently slam the door. Head to bed and lay back down.

O: I am going to have Faith in my head for the rest of the night.
M: humming Fast Love...

* Lease is sooooo almost up... Thank. The. Lord.

6 months... and it's freaking cold.

I'll admit, I was pretty nervous about moving into my own place. I was not quite sure that I could handle my own company and that I could manage coming home to my fish. However, I've done awfully well... and my fish is still alive...

A couple things are little to be desired however:

• The tile that the Landlord had replaced in the front foyer of my little apartment here still isn't grouted. Sigh.
• The electrical outlet in the bathroom doesn't work - suddenly - when it did not that long ago...
• The tub plugs.
• Front buzzer doesn't work (totally inconvenient)
• A bum sleeps underneath my window under some branches.
• I HAVE NO HEAT. That's right... no heat. It's freezing in here.

When I moved in, it was freaking hot. The radiator was pumping out heat like no ones business. I called the Landlord and he had a plumber come in to turn off the water connection so the radiator didn't pump out heat. Well. That was June. It's November - borderline December. Hi. I'm freezing. On the plus side, winter is almost over and I won't need heat anymore... it's only like 3 months to go...

And yes, the size of the piece of cake I am about to eat is larger than everyone else's...

Observation.

Getting sick seriously blows. If ya'll know of any miracle cure for the common cold, please share.

Who gets written about in the editorial?

My dad does.

Calgary Herald Editorial - Do-over needed on city's budget