Grow your own food.

So I'm chillin' in the bar in Whitefish, minding my own business, drinking my Malibu and pineapple and eating my chicken fingers and fries when a guy says to me, "so, you have your own garden? what do you grow?" Um. Excuse me?

Those who know me know I'm a lover of the organic, whole grain, wild food. I have been for a while. While I can't always afford to be a full-out practicer of it, I like to support it. One of the reasons I purchased this tshirt...

Now, I did it because I honestly needed some more tshirts and well... the message is kinda cool. Well. Didn't think someone would actually question whether or not I was actually a gardener...

After-the-second-glass-of-wine thought...

A year ago today I made an incredibly hard and emotionally difficult decision.

A year later?

Thank fuck.

Randoms from today.

• Every time I see the commercial for the movie, My Sisters Keeper, I tear up.
• I got gas at the Co-Op gas bar this afternoon and to my surprise, it was a full serve station. Mike, the gas guy, came over to my car and said "I'll be your car's Prince Charming if you open the hood". I thought this was only slightly forward until I realized it was so he could replenish the windshield washer fluid.

Larry Flynt and Joe Francis looking for a bailout... for the porn industry...

Give. Me. Strength.

A conversation with my brother, Ben.

Ben-Jamin says:
oh man... so how come you're still up?

megan. says:
i'm just going to bed

Ben-Jamin says:
well.. go to bed with a laugh...

Ben-Jamin says:
a sex professor asks "what does your asshole do when you have an orgasm?" the female student replies "probably hunting with his buddies..."

megan. says:
hahaha... nicely done...

After a glass of wine and some honey nut cheerios...

• Why do the people of Mexico speak Spanish? Shouldn't people from Spain speak Spanish and Mexican people speak Mexican?
• If tourists are encouraged to drink bottled water - do the locals drink the tap water? If we get sick - do they? Or are they immune to it by now?
• Are there spiders in Mexico?
• Does tequila come standard with each meal?
• If you hate someone, why would you get them a mean gadget gift? If you hate them - wouldn't spending money on them seem silly? Especially this, the usb humping dog.

Wrapped with a bow in the stocking, or under the tree?

Due to the turbulent economy - people may think twice about getting that abortion that had been thinking about. It's expensive in the States, you know. Having dinner on the table, clothes on your back and a shelter over your head may take precedence over that unplanned pregnancy you're just unsure about.

However, this year for Christmas, you can give your loved one a gift certificate to Planned Parenthood in $25 denominations for yes, you guessed it: abortions.

As sarcastic as I sound, it's not a half bad idea. Although really - how do you present that gift to someone? "I'm concerned about your sexual promiscuity and would like you to use this GC at the Planned Parenthood organization for things like condoms, doctor visits and just in case - an abortion".

Awkward.

Le sigh.

I actually feel older. Didn't think I would. I thought it would just all be in my head but my body actually aches. Maybe it's the lack of exercise I partake in.

Or, it's the impending doom that is Christmas season at the ol' Calgary Stampede, that's lurking it's evil-doer head around the corner.

Erm, I blame the latter.

Thoughts in the car on the way home from suburbia.

• Thank you Pascual Toso for creating a Malbec that is as sweet as angel pee. Not to mention the fantastic beautiful wine-buzz it gives you...
• Clyde just drank his body weight in water. Awesome.
• Why do people fancy living in the 'burbs? I have never spent more time in my car than I have this week. Who considers this convenient? Hi. They build 'downtown living' for a reason.
• Um the movie Sex in the City - yah, finally watched it tonite. It's kinda really good, eh?
• I'm excited about being really productive tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that it actually stays that way.
• "Palin offered $2 million to appear in porn film" - best headline I've read all election.
• It's my birthday on Monday. Woot!

Why I read Twitter.

Alright even I have a Twitter account. I caved in. I thought I was too cool but soon found out I wasn't too cool. I wasn't cool enough in fact.

I don't update it very often but occasionally I have some quirky finds.

A conversation at work.

Megan: Those are really cute shoes.

Coworker: You think? I bought them for $0.50 at a hospital bazaar last year. They were brand new! I think they make me look old...

Megan: You bought them at a hospital bazaar?

Coworker: Yah -

Megan: So you bought a pair of shoes at a hospital for $0.50 - they were sooo stolen from a dead lady. They weren't new! The old lady never had a chance to really wear them!

Coworker: (kicks off shoes) Ew... I thought it was too good to be true!

What can happen in Calgary in 2 hours?

Outside of the Roundup Centre and yes... the snow is up past the bumpers on some of the cars.

Looking outside of the window in my office...

I watched an hour and a half worth of infomercials last night and you know what? They won.

I decided since my skin believes I'm a 13 year old who is going through puberty, I once again need to figure something out regarding how to have flawless skin. Was on ProActiv for a bit and I seriously thought my skin was burning off my face (read the ingredients label and you'll find windshield washer fluid in it). In fact, it made my skin worse.Then it was Garnier Pure. Cute. Worked on the Coast - but - my skin completely clears up when I'm on the Coast. Maybe someone needs to bottle salty sea air and sell it...

Anyways, this infomercial, which I have seen a couple times before, intrigued me.

It's called Murad and the face stuff is super pricey if you buy it individually from the stores. Like, hella pricey. Like, I would need to decide between car payments and skin care pricey. But because they are so wonderful and "sincerely" want to help out all the people with shit skin, they have a cute little package which is cheaper and apparently gets the job done. So, for the low price of $36 I am their newest guinea pig.

If this doesn't work, I don't know what will.

I love tv... -or - How desperately I need a new hobby.

I'm loving reality TV as of late. It's unfortunate really but really, who doesn't enjoy a little scripted reality show at the end of a 9-5 day?

Anyways, one of my favourites (besides The Hills) is Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. I was pretty disheartened to find out that the season which is on right now is actually the first season which means this sleaze bag has had more than one round of this. Regardless, I'm addicted. These girls are hos. Although, I'm mildly attracted to Jes. She's hot.

Apparently, (spoiler alert if you actually watch this show) she's the winner... but they don't actually do anything past the show (as she's way too good for him) which is the reason he has season 2. Next.

America's Most Smartest Model. Enough said... or is it. This show is retarded. I need not say anything more.

The Bachelor: London Calling, is what reminds all women of how not to act. Seriously ladies - who sings opera to impress a man? Ok, maybe I haven't tried it myself yet but judging by the look on the British Bachelor (and by the rose ceremony which resulted in her going bye-bye) he was nonplussed too. And then there was Shaye. She is the daughter of Lorenzo Lamas (and apparently we should all know who Lorenzo Lamas is. Ok - I'm only 25. I didn't watch Renegade.

Anyways, she had the funniest line last show. Her answer made my time watching reality tv well spent (when I could have spent it doing things like - reading Nanocasm). In response to the question what makes her high-maintenance, the air-bronzed 22-year-old listed the five things she believed mattered most when it came to her appearance: cars, shoes, (ohmigod) handbags, sunglasses, and watches. "With those things covered, no one cares what you're wearing on your body." It's so comforting to know that with girls like that, our future is safe.

And people make fun of brunettes. I should probably watch something on Discovery or something to try and seem smarter. Or heck, turn off the TV.

Mine = Natural. Hers = Uber Fake.

So The Hills premiere was on last night. Did anyone else curl up in bed and watch it or was that just me...

Anyways, did anyone else notice the weird lips on Ms. Heidi? She's a freak to begin with but her lips were looked almost alien like...

So the show was great; makes me want to work for a fashion magazine and get swept up in the uber drama that traveling to fancy Balls would create for me.

A List of Sorts.

1. Having a 2 day weekend kinda blows. I mean, it's great having days off at all - but when it's only 2 days... sigh. There are so many things I want to do in a weekend but then suddenly it's Sunday night and I'm back in bed, setting my alarm for 6:10 a.m. Boo.
2. Going to Superstore today. Not sure what I'm more excited about: shopping for food or for Joe Fresh clothing. Seriously, this stuff is great. Where else can you get a cute pair of ballet flats for $3.54? Ok in reality I need groceries, in a bad way. I started my diet yesterday of no wheat, gluten and dairy - and a little over 24 hours later, I'm glad to say I'm doing well.
3. The next couple of months are work are already shaping up to be brutal. I'm nervous as all hell to do some of the larger theme galas and auctions, etc. I would like to plan some sort of exotic vacation in some location which will blow my socks off. My plan right now? A weekend in Revelstoke... maybe maybe Tofino. Exotic eh?
4. I'm really diggin' Rachael's notecards. Some of the cards of hers I would like to frame... but where to hang them...
5. Still no donations for my SaveTanu page. Mind you, I haven't really been advertising it as much as I could be. It worked for Karyn... how do I make it work for me??
6. I know I have a link for this site on the side of the site here, but I wanted to let you know about One D At A Time. She's quite crude, outrageous, darning and well, a slut; I love her to bits. Before you click on the link though - NSFW.
7. The song I would like played at my funeral: In The Sun by Joseph Arthur and Michael Stipe. Tell me this song doesn't give you chills when you listen to it.

Happy day before the work-week!

Obituary Euphanisms

"Free Spirit" - unemployable
"Vivacious" - drunk (female)
"A character" - drunk (male)
"Fun loving" - drank more than worked
"Down to earth" - born working class
"Utterly carefree" - senile

If I were more famous than I am now...

Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty hot shit but as of yet, I still haven't been able to get exactly what I want when I want it.

If I was able to produce a rider which would be sent to all the hosts before I arrived, this is what it would be:

• M&M's - no brown ones
• Tuna Casserole - just like how mom makes it
• Josh Groban - in person please
• Smart Wool socks - in case I get cold feet
• Neopolitan Duplex Wafers - a whole lot of them
• A fuzzy puppy - to play with
• Water - room temperature, definitely no ice
• Tuna pizza - like the one I had in Naples... mmmm...
• Big comfy couch - so I can sprawl out on it

Clearly, I'm not as high maintenance as Amy Winehouse, but I am a little more than Mandy Moore.

Happy Friday.

Homosocial Bonding.

In high school, and even to this day, I was one of those girls who said, "I have more guy friends because I just don't get along with girls; they're too impossible and catty". In other words: I was cute and geeky and the boys loved it. However, the girls never liked me because the guys got along with me better than them. I would roll my eyes at the girls with their hair issues while the guys did the same thing.

I had a solid-bff but as we grew older, life kinda got in the way. I'd have a headache, she'd have homework. I'd have work, she'd have a concert with a new bf. I'd have a deadline, she'd have free-time. Then, she'd be married and I'd be the last person she thought about. We'd feel too lame, too tired, fat, bored or lifeless ah to do anything. So, we wouldn't. And that was the end of that.

After you reach the age of 20, girls become more competitive with each other and in more ways than one. Fighting over the attention of the opposite sex, the last pair of must-have shoes, for the ideal job or for the hot waiter.

Then now, I've realized that a girl without female friends is missing out on too much. Not many chick-flick movie nights, unless it's with me, myself and I. Not many shopping companions because which guy can seriously handle a walk-through of the 3-storey Holt Renfrew? I miss the 3-hour dinners where we would drink our girly-slushy bevvies and talk about saving the world if we had to. The Brad Pitt a-thons where we would literally watch all his movies, back to back, until the sun came up - or our parents knocked on our door telling us to go to sleep.

Sure, I can make a new guy friend quicker than I can say an idiotic "my brain just fell out of my head" comment, but what I'm really looking for is a girl-friend. One who can be frou-frou with me, eat chocolate covered whatevers with me when Aunt-Flow is visiting us, sympathize when we have a roll hanging off the top of our pants, when we have Mount St. Helens growing on our forehead or need a good cry that only each other will understand the reason for.

Female friends are important, but unfortunately hard to come by. Until then, Brad Pitt-a-thons are on hold and bottles of red wine will be drank soley by me.