The flight that wasn't...

So right now, I should be in Winnipeg taking in all it's cold beauty. I should be eating perogies and enjoying the company of new friends and family. However, right now I am sitting in my parents house eating leftovers and chilling with my dog as today really hasn't gone as planned.

My brother drives me to the airport this morning by 6 a.m. as my flight was leaving at 7:40 a.m. and well... as organized as Air Canada is(n't) I am taking no chances with the threat of long lines and rude customer service people. And, just as I thought, the lines were epic and the staff snobby.

I'm finally through security and just waiting to board at 7:05 a.m. But wait... there's no one manning the ticket desk and um - it's 7:15 a.m. Small oversight I'm sure. Suddenly there's a couple pilots and the staff - eureka. Get ready to go up and get my ticket scanned when I'm asked to please step aside for a moment... ok. So, I move myself and my bag over slightly and am promptly given a new ticket for and a different seat. No sweat - still have a window seat.

Get on the plane and realize, 'wait, this isn't just any window seat - this is first class and dude - I'm in a single seat'. Sweet ass monkey shit. Am offered a pillow, given a warm face cloth and my beverage order is taken. This is service I could get used to.

After sitting on the plane for about 40 minutes, I look out the window and realize there are suitcases still on the tarmac. This is peculiar I'm thinking... how can the plane move if there are suitcases in the way? Well, my friends, this should have been my first hint that this flight was about to go terribly wrong.

We're waiting for staff to find their way to the aircraft so they can load our luggage. That's right, there are no staff to put the luggage on the plane. Awesome. We wait for another long freakin' time as we wait for staff to show up to load the plane for our bags.

Finally get that sorted. Then the Captain comes over the speaker..

AC Captain: This is your Captain speaking... we're just turning off the engines as the pully-thing we use to push the plane from the terminal is trapped on some ice and isn't getting anywhere. We just need to wait for some sand or something to help the little pully-thing out.

Peanut Gallery: Oookkkk.

Finally get that sorted and we are on our way.

After an hour and a half of being airborne we are told that we are gearing up to land - trays must be in the upright position, bags and purses stowed away and seat belts on. But then Captain comes on again...

AC Captain: Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we'll be circling the airport here for about 40 minutes. It seems an aircraft is disabled on the runway and they're just waiting to get it moved.

Peanut Gallery: Oookkkk.

After 40 minutes...

AC Captain: Ladies and Gentlemen, it looks like we're heading back to Calgary. The Winnipeg airport has shut the runways as there seems to be a larger problem on the ground. My apologies. We'll be in Calgary in an hour and a half.

Peanut Gallery: Mother f&^$ing sh!t for brains, co&ksucking bastards.

I'm devastated. We're literally on top of Winnipeg. I can see Winnipeg. There are people waiting for me at the airport. I'm heart broken and feel horrible.

Then, super-wigged-out-mad-as-a-bull-dude sitting 4 rows behind me decides he wants to go postal on everyone in the plane. The flight attendants warn him that there will be police waiting for him when we get off the plane... in Calgary... which is an hour and a half away...

Super-wigged-out-mad-as-a-bull-dude yells "GOOD! I'd rather be arrested than fly Air Canada again!!" Awesome. This will be a great flight back.

Finally get back to Calgary and just as we're landing, el Capitano comes on again:

AC Captain: Ladies and gentlemen, we're touching down in Calgary in less than 15 minutes. Again, I apologize for the inconvenience. Once we've parked, please head to the ticket desk where an agent will help you get to Winnipeg.

As I'm in first class, I'm the first 3 to get off the plane and in line to figure out the flight - but not before I call home. Mom and dad are already on the WestJet website looking for later flights in the event Air Canada blows goats and can't do anything for us. Oh wait... that's exactly what happened.

The oh so (not) helpful lady behind the counter gives us a sheet with a 1-800 number on it and says, "there's only 2 more flights leaving Calgary for Winnipeg today and they're full. Please call this number and arrange for a later flight. Or you can fly stand-by."

Hells no. Air Canada expected 90 people to fly stand-by. Sounds like great hostility, erm, I mean hospitality to me.

My new flight on WestJet leaves at 6:50 tonite, set to arrive at 9:43. Keep your fingers crossed this one lands.

Oh, and in case you're wondering what the epic issue was at the Winnipeg Airport? It was this.