The joys of apartment living; episode 8,649...

It is 3:42 a.m., Saturday morning. I am sleeping and dreaming of wonderful things. Suddenly...

O: grumble
M: wtf
O: I love this place...
M: oh for the love of jesus...

I catch complete awareness of what is going on around me and suddenly am infuriated with the nerve of people. My neighbour who's living room shares my bedroom wall has cranked George Michael on his stereo and is singing at the top of his lungs along with him. The worst part? It's "Faith".

I get out of bed, not even fixing my pjs or hair, unlock my door and march to apartment #10 and knock 3 times.

Neighbour: oh my god - it's the neighbour - turn it down!
Neighbour #2: shit shit shit shit...

I am standing with one hand leaning against the wall and other on my hip not making eye contact with the peep hole. I can see their feet under their door, open the f'ing door... finally -

Neighbour: oh uh hi...

Neighbour boy opens his door in a pair of jeans with the fly undone, no shirt and dishevelled blonde hair.

M: So like... I'm all for George Michael and all - in fact, huge fan of the song Fast Love... just not at 3:45 a.m.
Neighbour: Yah I'm sorry. Just got back from being away for the past 10 months and...
M: I saw you the other day unloading groceries from your car and the week before coming home from work.
Neighbour: ...
M: Ok so if you could...
Neighbour: How long have you lived here for?
M: 7 months.
Neighbour: oooooh.
M: Thanks for turning it down.

I march back to my apartment and gently slam the door. Head to bed and lay back down.

O: I am going to have Faith in my head for the rest of the night.
M: humming Fast Love...

* Lease is sooooo almost up... Thank. The. Lord.